My Mind Has A Mind Of It’s Own


Ghafil hai yeh duniya

Isse malool kya hona

Dubta suraj hai yeh

Isse subeh ki umeed kya rakhna

    Yes. This world right now is very disa…dissa…dissappointing..  ( Damn! double ‘s’ or single ‘s’ ?!?! ) ( Well , I will be a spell bee for sure. You see just right here is my problem. Half my brain is crazy and stupid in an embarass….embarasingly…embarrassingly..( Damn you efffiiinnggbig english words)… funny way.. ( embarrasing I say because I am the one people laughing at; the centre of the joke. Oh! Not just the centre but every nook and corner…)

(( What’s with the phrase ” nook and corner”. Don’t the two words mean the same. It’s like saying , ” This is the worst crap..” , like as if there is a best crap and even if it was, what’s the difference, it’s still is crap!))

( Umm…what was I writing about. Oh yeah! My brain. )

So one half is funny and the other half has the constitutional tendency to be depressed. But the worst part is that they are not just conflicted but competeteve….competiteve…competetive too.

As in when part wants to be expressed, the other one will do whatever it can to stop it ; dominate it. So, when I am depressed I find everything around funny and when I try to be funny I get depressed. That’s precisely the reason why I am so senseless all time.

(Why am I thinking all this again? 

How did I end up writing all this?

What had I planned to write about???)

Ah!! The insensitive world.

So, there you go my funny-depressed brain, you successfully managed to distract me.

On a slightly different note, I am starting to consider me having some kind of personality disorder. Maybe it’s that bipolar thing.I know faintly about it and that is thanks to a South Indian flick. If this is the case then when part is funny, the other one should be really unfunny or when depressed, the other should happy. So, may be not this bipolar disorder.

Could be that multiple personality disorder and again this is thanks to another South Indian flick where the guy developed superman like powers because of this disorder.

That’s actually really cool.I mean it would be very liberating to hop huge buildings, to be able to throw a punch or two, race like a bullet, break walls and who knows…maybe even fly…

depressed part intervenes — ” It’s a disease …not kryptonite.”

funny part retaliates–“Sometimes I need something that only you can provide…your absence”

depressed part–“Fine words. From whom did you steal?”

funny part–“Lonesome gothic.”

depressed part-“Blabbering fool!”

Meanwhile….Me—“I should just sue mt brain.”

depressed and funny part ..together–“No. Just stop watching South Indian flicks.”

          –Khadija Begum

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