A Day without my Cellphone – A Day without Air

I woke up to the most lonely and emotionally devastating day of my life. The first thing I do when I open my eyes is grab my phone. It’s safe to say that I believe it’s an extension of my hand, and a very cool extension at that. However, this morning it was gone.

My friends just have to go to KFC every sunday. I have had so much Kentucky Fried Chicken that it feels like every drop of my blood is kentucky fried chicken. Now eating a kentucky fried chicken seems like cannibalism. I promised my little friend I would spend some valuable time with her today and now she’s gone. The problem is I don’t remember where I left her. Going through my bag only revealed a full bunch of already used bus tickets I save to fool the conductor in order to save money, the smell of my rotting  lunch and the sad excuses of education, people call textbooks. Seriously, except for the simple addition and subtraction I am going to use  while shopping and that too until I win my 1 billion lottery, how is maths helpful to me? And don’t even get me started about science; do I really want to know I have a colony of bacteria living on and in my body? I don’t think so.If I wasn’t so tired last night then Suzy would be safely in my hands. Just the thought of somebody else violating her makes me sick.

Okay, I’m at school and Suzy still hasn’t popped up. I have to search quickly because the principle could be here any minute. I may have punched a guy who was super cute until he told me to forget my “stupid phone”. Nobody talks that way about Suzy! She’s my companion. She plays me songs when I’m sad and she loves to take pictures of me. I even remember the day I got her. Suzy looked at me through her one eye (camera) and we made a solid connection. I was there the first time she vibrated and sang her first ringtone. And stupid! If there is anything stupid, it’s him.
Does he have eyes in front and also behind his head?
Can he or any postman on Earth deliver a message like in 3 seconds?
Can he stay in their homes and follow them around, and get me more information about people I stalk at the comfort of my home and just a push of a button of my phone?
Can he make me look 50 kilos lighter or like Angelina Jolie like my phone does using 100 different kinds effects? Believe me, all the makeup in the world and squats couldn’t….
Suzy  , my Tablet and the internet connection is like the Trinity to me. I celebrate their solemnity each day.Anyway, my desk is clean. For a moment my heart skips a beat as I hear Suzy calling me. I distinctly remember changing her ringtone to Wrecking Ball on Tuesday and now she is screaming for help. I look around the corridor to see where she is. I should’ve known, that skank Michelle has it. She’s looking down and smiling, it has to be her. Michelle had been stalking Suzy since day one and I don’t care if she’s my best friend.

Security escorted me out and Miss.spoke-to-inanimate-objects-till-18 yrs old might be pressing charges. I’d rather not say why. I’m not satisfied that she doesn’t have anything to do with it though. I’m retracing my steps from last night and I just can’t remember what I did with her. It’s killing me slowly. Wait a minute, now I remember. My friend called while I was getting into bed and then I fell asleep. The bed! I’m coming Suzy, mommy is coming! I throw all the pillows and sheets off, nothing. Then I hear it. The faint sound of Miley Cyrus coming from……between the bed and the wall. Thank heaven, Suzy you’re safe. I don’t know if we will ever graduate, but at least we are together again.

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